The battle within

Lately I have been struggling with things I want to do, things I need to do, things I absolutely have to do, and things I think I should do. I've been stressed and unhappy for most of this week, a striking contrast to last week, when I felt like I could do anything. I ended up burning out and crashing hard and it sucked.

I feel like I go through cycles of mood and competence. Normally it doesn't flip so fast from week to week, though.

I'm reevaluating lots of things. What do I definitely want, and how can I get it? What things do I have to do every day to make those goals happen? Is there anything I can cut out to save time and energy?

Moving to North Augusta would help--I would be able to walk or bike to work, maximizing my commute by combining it with exercise. But I doubt it will solve all my problems.

So here I am at Boll Weevil, seeking comfort in warm familiarity, settling in with a Curious George, chips, and tea.

I hope I can figure this out.

More food

Japanese used in my karate class

A fair amount of Japanese is used in the karate class I recently joined. Here are the terms I've heard so far.

End of class

First the teacher says "line up" in English. The students get in line in front of the mirror in order of rank, with white belts to the left and brown belts to the right. Students stand with feet shoulder width apart and hands in fists held out down and to the front. The teachers stand along the left wall.

The teacher says the name of the highest-ranking student, who is of course standing on the opposite side of the room. The highest-ranking student says:

気を付け！　【きをつけ】 (ki wo tsuke) - Attention!

Students slide their feet together and swing their hands to clap the backs of their hips.

礼！ 【れい】 (rei) - Bow!

先生に礼！　【せんせいにれい】 (sensei ni rei) - Bow to the teacher(s)!

先輩に礼！　【せんぱいにれい】 (senpai ni rei) - Bow to your senior(s)!

The first bow is to the mirrors. Students turn left to bow to the teachers and spin around to bow to the higher-ranking students.

Forms

In karate, forms are called

型 【かた】 (kata)

The one kata I've learned so far is called taikyoku 1. I believe the Chinese characters for taikyoku are 太極, but I'm not positive. Here's some information about the taikyoku kata.

Sensei Beall's school has a traditional way of opening and closing a form. To begin a form, you stand with your left foot held lightly in front, similar to kung fu's cat stance. Your hands are held flat in front of you and down, left hand on top of right.

This position has a name. At first I thought the senseis were saying

娘 【むすめ】 (musume)

which means "girl" or "daughter". However, it's apparently something like issume. Since I don't know the exact pronunciation, I haven't been able to find the actual word or what it means.

After this position you 気を付け (ki wo tsuke) and 礼 (rei) as described above. Then you bring your left hand up about a foot in front of your face, palm facing inward and fingers held at a height just below your eyes, so you can see over them. Simultaneously and silently, your right fist slides up behind your flat left hand, palm facing you. The senseis seem to be calling this position "ready" in English. You then lower your hands, keeping them together so that your left hand rotates on top of your right, until your arms are straight down in front, hands still together. This is also called "ready".

From there you go right into your form.

Once you're finished with your form, you go out by stepping your feet together, slapping your fist into your left hand for the first "ready" position (you can make noise with your fist this time because you've defeated all your opponents), and shifting into the second "ready". Then you 気を付け (ki wo tsuke), 礼 (rei), and step into the "line up" stance.

Other

During forms or drills, any time you've done a series of the same maneuver, you shout on the last one. The word traditionally said is

気合 【きあい】 (kiai)

which literally means scream or yell, and also means fighting spirit. Sensei Beall says the point is not to say 気合 (kiai) perfectly, but to let out air rapidly so that if you get punched, your opponent can't knock the wind out of you. The yell should come from your gut, not your throat.

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I have to tell you, being in a situation in which Japanese is used regularly makes me want to speak Japanese! I'm afraid one night I'll slip and say はい (hai) instead of "Yes, sir!" :)

Sizzling fajitas

Sean's comment: "Fear for your life."

Edit: I only ate about 1/4 of this. The rest is in my fridge, baby.

Frank Beall's US TAI Karate

This week I went to a martial arts class for the first time in 15 years.

I took kung fu for about three years when I was in high school. I still look back on class as some of the best--and worst--times of my life. I accomplished a lot, learned a lot, and was in great physical condition. But I was very down on myself in high school, and that affected my happiness with myself and how I was progressing in class. When rising costs and other factors caused me to quit my junior year, I didn't seek out another class.

When I first moved to Augusta in 2003, I searched online for local martial arts schools without much success. I actually found an essay written by a female soldier who was highly unimpressed with the classes she'd investigated here, and that turned me off towards local schools. I thought about simply practicing the things I'd learned in kung fu--back then I still had my notebook with detailed information and instructions--but I never ended up doing so. The most martial arts have been in my life in the last 15 years has been through movies and the occasional pondering on situational self-defense.

Now, seven years later, I seem to have found a good school: Frank Beall's US TAI Karate. My friend Brandon from work trained under the late 10-dan black belt and TAI Grandmaster Virgil Kimmey, Sensei Beall's teacher, back when he was a kid. He'd thought about it off and on ever since, and last August he started back again at Sensei Beall's dojo.

Last week I watched a class to see what it was like, and this Tuesday and Thursday I participated, in blocks and katas respectively. Obviously I couldn't expect things to be the same as my old kung fu class, but enough of the core values are the same that I felt very comfortable there.

Senseis Beall and Long both create an environment of respect and diligence. They are also quite obviously experts in their art. Both are black belts, but nowadays that rank seems to mean less and less. In watching them execute various movements and simply observing their general bearing, though, it's apparent that they're the real thing. Instant reaction time, fluid, efficient, strong. And when they teach, they explain exactly what they're doing and why, they're very patient, and they pay close attention to students, answering questions and correcting form.

On Thursday I was especially pleased when Sensei Long said movements in forms should be executed just as they would be in a match--full strength. Too often I see martial artists flowing through their forms without putting any power into the punches. To me, that defeats the purpose of learning forms. Forms are pretty and impressive to watch, but the main purpose is to build muscle memory. If your muscles remember weak movements, you're going to be in trouble in a real fight.

It's kind of rough going directly from work to karate, but I've felt so good this week. At this point I'm leaning towards formally joining the school.

Attending this class has brought back a flood of memories and sparked much thought about martial arts. I'll be writing more on this soon.

New plan: Simplify

Looking back, my weight loss efforts have all had one thing in common: complexity. I tried to adhere to a regimen that didn't lend itself to a non-stressed schedule, and to a detailed tracking of everything I ate that, while effective, was inconvenient and time-consuming. Every time I've tried anything like this, I've slipped out of the regimen and dietary tracking and gained weight back.

I'm always euphoric whenever I start a new weight loss plan, filled with motivation and certainty that this time, it'll work. That's why when my friend Mari told me once that she didn't want to try to track what she ate because she knew she'd never keep it up, I thought, "That's fine for you, but I will keep it up, and I'll lose weight!"

I think I'm finally coming around to her point of view.

A person's drive only lasts so long. Then, once it's over, it's way too easy to slip, or to just stop. You feel terrible, but it seems like so much work to get back into it that you give up. I personally tend to get bored with an activity after I've been doing it for a few weeks, and that makes it even harder to keep myself motivated.

Plus, an elaborate food and exercise tracking plan can be gamed. I'd work the numbers like crazy to try and fit in greasy food or sweet snacks. And exercise tracking never quite seems accurate; a tiny tweak of the numbers and the total calories burned can change by 100!

What I would like to try going forward is a simpler way of looking at food and exercise. Here's what I'm thinking.

Food

I would like to try to eat something every two or three hours. That something will just be one serving of one thing.

I've noticed that I tend to order a lot of different things at restaurants. This is because if I just have a lot of one food, I get bored. I'm going to try to use this to my advantage. If all I can eat at any particular moment is this one thing, then, paradoxically, perhaps I will eat less of it than I would if I also had other stuff to go with it. And even if not, I still will only be eating that one thing.

Under this plan, I will no longer eat big meals. When I go out to eat, I will order one a la carte item or side item. And I'll have to get Sean not to make me a big dinner anymore--or eat the dinner he makes one item at a time over the course of several hours.

I will also try to eat more "good" stuff than "bad" stuff in any given day. I might get a chicken soft taco at lunch, but that's cool as long as I've been eating fruits, vegetables, whole grains, healthy soups, etc. the rest of the day. I'll try to eat more natural stuff and less processed stuff.

My hope is that since I'll be eating every few hours, I won't feel hungry, but because I'll be eating smarter, I won't be eating as much.

Exercise

Instead of coming up with a specific exercise regimen, I will instead work towards the goal of 30 to 90 minutes of physical activity every day. This does not have to happen at the gym, and the time does not have to be consecutive. For example, I could do 15 minutes in the morning, 15 minutes at lunch, and 15 minutes in the evening for a 45-minute activity day.

Compared to the thought of going to the gym for an hour each morning, this sounds like a piece of cake. I really feel like this is a sustainable model.

Under this plan, I won't worry about the type of activity I'm doing or how many calories I'm burning. Instead, I'll pick fun activities and then work myself as hard as possible.

Logistics

In order to make this work, I will have to do some planning. To eat every few hours, I will need to pack or purchase four to five items each workday. I may try setting specific eating times, but ultimately I think it'll be easier to just note the time whenever I eat and make sure I have something else within the next three hours.

Bananas, yogurt, and pretzels are some examples of the types of food I can pack, but I know I've gotten bored with healthy snacks before, so I will need to try to have more variety.

To facilitate ongoing physical activity, I think I will need to break down and start keeping exercise clothes and shoes at work. It can be something of a hassle to remember to bring things home to be washed, but packing and bringing workout clothes each morning is unsustainable. Ultimately, having at least the shoes there will ensure I have no excuse to skip that day's physical activity.

So that's the plan. Wish me luck!

Moved some furniture

Also finally put away the Christmas stuff :>

Chicken soft tacos

This is getting ridiculous. Thinking about starting a separate blog
just for pictures of food.

Breakfast, courtesy of McDonald's dollar menu

Sausage biscuit, apple dippers, and tea. Looks healthy, huh?

Wendy's Value Menu lunch

Crispy chicken sandwich, small chili, value root beer.

Boll Weevil Burger and Potato Soup

New tea set

I got this at Hibari Market in Lexington, Kentucky on my way home from spending Christmas with my family. I hope to shift my home office to a blue scheme, so this will match perfectly!

A late lunch of breakfast

Buttermilk pancakes, cheesy eggs, and bacon.

Mi Rancho