Somehow, once I was into my 20s, I was extraordinarily able to get along with young guys. I don't know if I can really make a blanket statement here, but I've had several striking experiences that have made me wonder what exactly the deal was.
I think the first time it happened was during one of my Japanese classes. There was this freshman in class who regularly sat near me--tall, lean, with curly auburn hair. He would sit slouched in his seat and grin and joke around, and, as I learned later from the guys on my Japan trip, was apparently something of a slacker. I liked him rather a lot, so much that one day I told him I wanted to adopt him.
The next time I can remember is the kid who sold me the children's magazine. I still reread those posts and laugh. Boy, did he ever enjoy the brownie!
I had another encounter with a teenage guy in line for Order of the Phoenix. I was sitting on the ground reading the novel when a large group of teenagers formed up in line behind me. Eventually one of them, of average height with dark curly hair, sat down next to me, and occasionally he'd make comments or ask questions. I Twittered about him here. (When he pointed out the girl in question, I was like, "Whoa, she's hot. Good luck, dude!" I'm such a good role model...)
At one point, the apparent organizer of the teens, who was very obviously a Harry Potter freak, started singing very loudly. This girl was also the guy's best friend, as I had previously learned. She looked over and noticed that he looked extremely embarrassed, so she yelled, "I'm his best friend! The guy with the iPhone!"
He immediately dumped his iPhone into my lap.
"Hmm," I said, picking it up. "Maybe I'll just keep this!"
They were just fun, all three experiences.
Also, I've been watching Prince of Tennis lately, and I absolutely adore all the boys in that show. They're all so unique, but yet they're all badass, and they know it.
I think I am just attracted by guys who are self-confident, and I like interacting with them. It's one of the things that originally drew me, and still draws me, to Sean. I don't think the guy necessarily has to be young--I also get crushes on older men, such as John Glover (damn he's hot). I just like men who are slick, and who know they're slick, and who therefore don't waste time on trivial stuff...but who do take the time for a nice verbal joust purely for the mutual enjoyment.
Oddly, I can't think of very many middle-aged men I'm attracted to. It could be that I still think of my dad as middle-aged, so I avoid thinking of that age group entirely. Or maybe middle-aged men just don't exude that same confidence. Maybe they're just plowing along trying to get through the day, whereas the carefree young man has his whole life ahead of him, and the old man has seen it all and doesn't give a flip anymore. It's a gross generalization, but it might fit.
Or maybe middle-aged men don't flirt because they're married! I don't know.
Those of you out there who are attracted to men, or who are unafraid to analyze your relationships with them, do you have any specific age groups that do it for you? If so, which ones, and why? What kinds of men do you enjoy being around...and are those types the same types that you choose as friends?
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What a fun question!! :)
For some reason, I've always been able to make friends and BE friends easier with guys. In fact, my fifth grade boyfriend I came across several years AFTER fifth grade, and hanging out looking at guys together was the BEST TIME we'd ever HAD together. Then after that, I at one point was SO afraid that I was going to be single all my life, and just some "gay guy's friend." I REFUSE to use "hag" because, as you well know, I'm as far from hag as they come. ;)
I was able to migrate from gay guys to STRAIGHT ONES, which made me really happy. They've all been younger than me, though, especially ones I've dated. Well, there was ONE that was MUCH OLDER than me, and that lasted all of a week. What a dork. So I can at least SAY I've dated an "older man" but he just wasn't for me.
But after THAT brief --what the hell was I thinking?!-- moment, they were all younger.
One was NINE YEARS younger (I was 30, calm down, people, at least he was legal!!) but I didn't REALLY know that until I found it out. I'd thought he was much older than that. He KNEW the age difference, but didn't want to tell me and scare me. He was a great guy, but he needed to see the world. Of course, there was the one who was a mere 4 1/2 years younger. But he was a total jerk. Heather, Mari, Sean, and Kelly ALL know the hell caused with THAT one, because they unfortunately got caught up in all of it, too, by having to see me turn into a total basket case.
This is just a sampling of them, but this is generally how it's gone for me the whole time.
And now, even, the E.M. is a year and a half younger than me.
I don't know what it is, I wonder if it's that I'm just a bit on the laughy giggly carefree side, with more than a bit of the "juvenile humor" side to me, that makes me naturally attract younger guys? I've always been the "mother-y" protective one with EVERYONE I know, too, so that might have had something to do with it.
I don't know, I'm not sure, but I never had a problem with it. Age is just a number, it's not a way I have to ACT thank goodness. ;)
In my experiences, regarding "self-confident men" they ARE a plain joy to be around, because most times you can be JUST as self-confident around them, and not have to temper it, and they're cool with it. However, there's a fine line between "self-confident" and "arrogant". Self-confident I LOVE, whereas "arrogant can go stick their heads BACK up their asses, and leave me the hell alone.
Thank GOODNESS I don't have to worry about that, now. ;)
Growing up, I had a hard time relating to girls, possibly because I had two brothers and no sisters and often couldn't understand what was going through the mind of my one female friend who lived next door. That family ended up moving before we did, too.
But I also had a hard time with guys. I was something of a loner through elementary school. There seemed to be an invisible shield around me. I didn't know how to talk to people, and often freaked out when they talked to me. Typically I would just go along with whatever was happening with everyone else, with a few notable exceptions, such as the sleepover when everyone decided to watch Beetlejuice. We were like 8! I was afraid of the movie so I just stayed in the other room.
I also hated gym activities and would jump rope instead whenever possible.
I gained my first-ever close friend when I went to public school, and a boy stood up for me and my brothers on the bus. Later a girl who rode the same bus also became my friend.
But I still didn't know how to treat people, and in middle school, when I finally got into the "smart classes" (there had been some sort of miscommunication when I'd originally transferred), I ended up blowing my original friends off and trying to make new ones. Lame.
The girl actually called me on it in the lunch line; a braver thing than I could have ever hoped to do. I'm sorry to say that all I did was my best to ignore her.
In high school, my middle school best friend had moved away, and I had a couple of new "best friends"--who of course I still didn't know how to treat. I think it was premature to ever use that title. We didn't know enough about each other, and in one case we weren't committed to each other enough to overcome some serious issues down the road.
I don't think it was until college that I was able to let go of all that baggage and become a friend without unreasonable expectations and without treating people poorly. I started to listen when people spoke, and make an effort to remember what they said, and I thought about them when they weren't around. I really think I have the internet to thank for this turnaround. My relationships there taught me how friendship doesn't have to be one-sided or guilt-induced or forced. I started applying what I learned online to real life, and that made me so much more relaxed in person than I ever was before.
And that's probably when the whole getting-along-with-younger-men thing came about. Suddenly, this age group that I could barely speak with other than a few other introverts was cracked wide open. No wonder I find it amusing :>
It's still taken me a long time to learn how to be friends with women...Brooke, I think you are my first real best friend, other than my mom. You're a person I care too much about to give up, even when I'm mad at you.
My middle school best friend was close...she and I loved each other with no expectations, and even now when we get back together it can be eerily like we've never been apart. Unfortunately, that once-in-a-lifetime experience spoiled me for later relationships, causing me to expect too much from the other women in my life, resulting in either angry "breakups" or slowly moving apart.
I'm really happy I've gotten to the point where I can feel so close to another woman again, without expectations, without guilt trips, just being, just having that lovely understanding, and therefore being more than willing to work to keep the relationship. It's been way too long in coming.
Given how I still have a lot of issues with other women, though, I still have a long way to go...
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