Japanese men: horribly rude?

Simon's got a funny little piece today about how his manners and the language he's picking up from his wife are causing him to seem, well, gay.

Living with three women I hear and learn a large proportion of my Japanese by listening to the family communicate. Of course they use expressions of a feminine nature which when used by a member of the opposite sex sound like I am emulating Julian Clary AKA The fairy.

This, combined with his natural politeness, cause him to come across like a "60 year old woman".

A Japanese man on the other hand (apart from not asking for assistance in the first place) would thrust a map under the nose of a worker and jab at the desired destination until the worker relented and found it out for him. In a restaurant if I ask for a glass of water I nod in a gesture of thanks. A Japanese man would turn and blow cigarette smoke in the waiters eyes. It's just what they do.

Are Japanese men truly all this rude? The cute middle school boys in anime like Prince of Tennis would have me believe that at least some of them, while self-confident to the point of arrogance, are at least kind and thoughtful. Is this wishful thinking on the part of the anime?