I'm pretty sure that my freakish moods lately are the result of being off the hormone. I remember having intense, violent anger like this back when I first went on hormone medication in 1998 or so. I will be meeting my endocrinologist on January 9, at which point I expect to be put back on some sort of maintenance hormone, which I will likely stay on permanently. I haven't had a period in this interim, so it's pretty clear to me that I will not be conceiving naturally. It's time to move on and get my body adjusted so I can live a real life, instead of hanging in emotional limbo.
However, I feel that I have problems other than just the hormones/lack thereof. Even when I was on hormones I had fits of depression. Once I have my hormone balance straightened out, I am going to seek some sort of help. I'm tired of disliking myself, I'm tired of the disorganization in my life, I'm tired of never meeting my goals. Maybe it's not something I can do on my own after all.
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