It was too normal, it was like all the bad stuff was happening vaguely in the distance, like the main characters lived in a safe little vacuum bubble and all they had to do was take their classes and speculate every now and then and worry about trifles like love lives and Quidditch. They weren't really involved...
...and then suddenly, violently, at the very end, they were.
And Harry turned out to be wrong in a way that was somewhat surprising, but not particularly unwelcome...but right in a way I fervently did not want him to be.
Because it means that Dumbledore was wrong.
I do not want Dumbledore to be wrong.
It scares me to think what else he might have been wrong about.
All I can do is cling numbly to Dumbledore's idealism and try to imagine some way, any way, for the betrayal to be untrue. And make no mistake, I imagined a way--but the book seemed bound and determined to beat that way out of me, make it impossible.
It's over, the book said. This is the way it is, sorry.
I can't stand it.
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4 comments:
it can't be the end of him! How could it be?!?
I know...but Fawkes, and the portrait. His office.
I was thinking maybe Snape's Avada Kedavra might have been ineffective...because, you know, you have to want to cause pain, to enjoy it, to use the Unforgivable Curses. And I thought that Dumbledore would naturally have been able to escape, and allow people to think he was dead, so Snape's cover wouldn't be blown.
But maybe taking the Vow meant that Snape would be enabled to use the Unforgivable Curse effectively. He'd have to, or he himself would die.
I can't imagine how it felt, for him to have to kill Dumbledore in order to follow Dumbledore's orders...he's suffered so much already, at the hands of Harry's father and his father's friends, and then he had to deal with seeing the son of his tormentor every day, and he had to deal with the suspicion of all of his colleagues...except Dumbledore.
He was forced to kill the only one who believed him.
I agree Heather, I felt pretty numb after the book, too. I couldn't accept that Snape was a traitor either. I am hoping that the dismal end of this book only sets the premise for the final ending--in which Dumbledore's idealism will win out afterall. Maybe not exactly in Snape's case, but overall--that Harry's biggest strength is love--that good is more powerful than evil. If the next book doesn't end with that thesis, then it will have been a horribly cynical children's series!
My suspicion is that Dumbledore knew about the vow. He wasn't afraid until Snape showed up. I think he was trying to avoid that situation, but once Snape was there, it was too late.
I'm sure Snape told Dumbledore about having taken the Vow. However, I really don't think it's in character for Dumbledore to plead for his life. If anything, I think he was pleading with Snape to go through with it, to save Snape's own life and to keep the plan in motion. (I suppose it's possible that that stuff he had to drink to get to the horcrux was still affecting him, but I don't think so.)
I also keep thinking (wishing, really) that Dumbledore might have found some way to survive, even though the signs that he's dead are more than blatant.
I definitely concur with your hope that the series will end on a positive note that affirms Dumbledore's idealism.
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