I didn't go back to work after lunch. I called in, essentially, and we're going to have a discussion about my problems with the job on Monday. I have until then to crystallize all the issues into a concise format.
Emotionally exhausted, I went to bed. I had plans with Mari and crew to bike ride, so I left her a message on BoB to call me when I should come over. She did call, twice, but I didn't hear the phone. Finally at 6:45, I woke up, checked my messages, and called her back. Due to the rain, they hadn't gone biking, and they hadn't had dinner yet either, so I was still welcome to go.
I got dressed and left the bedroom and discovered that Sean was in the office on his computer. "You're here," I said, and for a long time I just hugged him. I let him know I was leaving, and we said goodbye again, and then I left.
Mari, Kelly, Chris and I watched the last two episodes of El Hazard--pretty good stuff. We had this turkey cheese wrap thing and home fries...mmm. Then Chris had to leave. Mari and I ate some cake, and then we all watched the first episode of The Prisoner. It looks really neat, and I want to watch the rest of it.
After that we just sat around talking, about all kinds of stuff. Education, welfare, stupid people...;> I feel like everyone is complacent about the educational system...at least complacent enough not to try to enact big changes. The few people who are interested in that aren't able to get the support they need because of this. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't try to get my personal ideas about education out to more people, to try and drum up some interest. Our current educational system is too outdated for the modern world, and I don't think we can afford to stay this way for much longer. Of course, I don't know if my ideas are good enough, but at least they're something. We'll see.
Regardless, after spending time with my friends, I do feel much better. I'm sure the nap (and chocolate cake) helped too, but mostly I just like being with people who are interesting and who are interested in me, and doing things that we all like. It's really calming and refreshing.
I still don't know what I want to do about my job. On the one hand, it has been a great opportunity for me. I have at least some influence in decisions, and my ideas are appreciated. I've come up with a couple of different things that may be implemented later. This sort of thing makes me feel special and important...but I don't know if that outweighs the other stuff.
[An extended description of what I dislike appeared here earlier. I have removed it out of consideration for my employer. Ultimately, writing it out helped me to determine that there are two things I would like my boss to do.]
At this point, I'm thinking that if he can't do these things, I'll tender my resignation. But that's just how I feel right now. We'll see how I feel after the weekend.
Saturday, June 26, 2004
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