I wash my hands of the entire affair.

Michael Schiavo won't tell Terri's parents where she's being buried, or where the cremation will take place, or anything.

Meanwhile, the Schindlers are selling the list of names of people who donated to their cause to a direct mailing firm.

They must be Harry Potter fans

My mom emailed me today to let me know that Chris Dotson, our family's original computer guy, and his wife Tabitha are expecting their first child any day now. Mom sent me to their homepage, which led me to this. Apparently Tabitha runs a horse farm! How cool is that?

The Harry Potter theme doesn't end with the name of the farm. Check out the list of their animals on the house page.

And while you're at it, look at the pictures of their beautiful house! Wow! Love that library!

And finally...here's that baby :D

Congratulations to Chris and Tabitha!

OMG!

Astronomers Receive Outer Space S.O.S.: Radio Telescopes Detect Alien SOS from Extrasolar Planet

I pulled something like this once :D Though not nearly as large in scope. I removed the unspacy.com home page and replaced it with something very glaringly pink, and posted that I was changing unspacy.com into a fansite. (I can't remember what kind of fansite now. Something girly. I'll see if I can dig up the graphic I made when I get home.) There was this girl(?) in the community at the time who kept pestering me about whether or not it was a joke. I would always flatly say that no, there was no more AMRN, this was my decision, it really was going to be a fansite from now on.

She should have known I would lie until the next day! Boy, was she ever pissed at me. That was awesome ;D

(For those of you who remember, this is the girl who claimed to be 1) building a Gundam in her parents' garage; 2) possessed by a demon who was forcing her to work towards the complete annihilation of the human race via nanotechnology; 3) psychic.)

Anyway...I wish we really did receive a transmission from aliens. An SOS would be bad, though, as we would be completely unable to help.

(I like that he added legitimacy by posting it early and stating that it actually came from Australia, but if you think about it, it won't be 12:13 AM in Melbourne for another hour and ten minutes...;>)

Update 6:40 pm: It was a "Chibi Chibi Fansite". Here's a link to the post I made on the AMRN about it, and my subsequent redaction. (Note that the Administrator account used to belong to Sean, and it used to have a huge Chibi Chibi picture in it ;>) Here's the top banner I created:

And this is the image I tiled in the background:

Yes...sooooo evil.

Here are a few things I've been wanting to mention.

1. I found something for Kristanne to go see this fall.
2. Today's Japanese lesson on About.com is entitled "Expressions of Desire". Heheheheheheh...
3. I wanted to note how this is just like an episode of Friends, but Miss Em totally beat me to it! Grr...
4. Sid weighed in on Koizumi's flirting with Richard Gere. Unfortunately, the video he linked seems to have been removed...
5. Wes had some interesting thoughts last week about poverty and personal responsibility.
6. Slashdot brings news of a new bookmark service. I'm kind of having trouble understanding the point, since it seems to look and act just like del.icio.us. I mean, I assume the underlying code is different somehow, but why copy the UI? That seems lame. (Granted, the layout and colors and fonts are far more visually appealing...)
7. Tampons are an essential part of every aquatic robot.
8. Barcode babies in Britain!
9. Recent events in China beg the question: how real is the stuff you buy in online games? As the wife of someone who spent US dollars on spell materials, I can tell you that the transactions are very, very real. However, I hesitate at calling the items "property". I think the issue should be examined more as a quality of life thing. The point of gaining items in games is to improve the experience (better weapons => higher level => cooler quests). What was sold here is therefore not easily replaceable. You can't (necessarily) go out and buy another one. It takes time and trouble to gain items and levels. I'm not sure what good compensation would be.

And that's it for the stuff I've been keeping new in Bloglines and bookmarking for "later". Enjoy :>

"Awww snap!"

This is the best thing I have ever seen.

"Stop TK'ing, you fag!!!1!!"

Podcasting

(I have been trying to post this since around 8:30 this morning. Damn you, Blogger. Damn you to hell.)

Derik has posted a very nice explanation of what podcasting actually is, which is helpful to old women like me who aren't "hip" with the "times". I had only the vaguest notion of how podcasting actually worked; now, I know exactly how it works. I much prefer this state of being (that is, "being in the know").

I'm also intrigued by his discussion of how he manages his new podcasts. It's not unfair to say that Derik is an Apple fanboy ;>, but the features he lists make the iPod and iTunes sound very attractive.

Let them eat steak

The Japanese seriously want their gyudon. (Who could blame them?)

I love Koizumi

He is the man.

Shocking!

Brooke just about had a heart attack when I told her I was listening to Pink Floyd. Apparently, this is amazing. Does this surprise you? What other things about me surprise you? I'm intrigued by this, because I don't really find myself all that fascinating. (Okay, fine, I do find myself fascinating, but I don't see how I am all that fascinating to others.)

Heheheh...dork

So I'm finally getting caught up on Language Log. Yes, that's right, I am currently reading the first of 99 posts queued up in my RSS reader. This particular post is from February 24 and concerns the placement of connective adverbs.

To spotlight just how much of a geek I am, I give you the following:

Although Hardy must have been among the authors who formed William Strunk's sense of English prose style, there is no evidence in Hardy's works, treated as a whole, to support Strunk's notorious anxiety about initial placement of however.

However, if we inspect the beginning and end of Hardy's career separately, a slightly different pattern emerges.

Do you see what he did there?! He started the sentence with "however", after talking about the stigma against starting a sentence with "however"! OMG!!!!

This made me laugh out loud. So, yes...I am a total dork. (A total dork who adores Mark Liberman.)

"Who is Terri Schiavo?"

Brooke linked me to this piece on Terri Shiavo. I thought it well worth sharing.

Is Websnark over?

It seems the majority of Eric Burns' recent posts have been of the "I don't have anything for you today" meme (often with the added information of "I'm sick" or "I'm tired"). Meanwhile, we get odd blatherings from his new co-conspirator, Wednesday White, that are random and only tenuously related to "snarking". Her entries read more like something that ought to be on a personal blog than "webcomic criticism". (The fact that I don't really care for her writing doesn't help, I suppose.)

It makes me feel like Eric brought Wednesday on board because he doesn't have the drive to snark anymore. He wanted her to pick up the slack because he knew there would be slack. He's being pulled in eleventy different ways, and the more enticing ways are getting the majority of his attention. Right now, it would seem that he's most enthralled with his new webcomic, Gossamer Commons (which, I'm sad to say, does not intrigue me...the pacing of the intro did not make me want to keep reading, and I unfortunately am not a fan of the art style).

So I wonder if this is it for me and Eric Burns. Maybe he will calm down after a few weeks--his comic did just launch, after all--and things will go back to "normal". But maybe he's chosen (in his heart, where it counts for an artist) to move on...in which case, I will be sorry to see Websnark go. I've never posted over there, but I've always enjoyed reading.

Bwah

Well, I thought I'd do a little more work on shifting my template over, but all I've really been doing is laying out the design for the sidebar boxes in a Word doc. Not that that's inconsequential, but it would be nice if I had gotten something more high profile done, like the footer, or the archive pages, or whatnot. Oh well.

I keep wanting to eat, and I'm not getting anything accomplished, so what I think I'll do is brush my teeth, get changed for bed, make lunches for tomorrow, and then read some Thomas Covenant until I feel sleepy. The first day of my last two weeks at my soon-to-be former job is tomorrow! (Speaking of which, in a joint celebration of that and of my bone marrow birthday [which was Friday], I went out to dinner at Mikoto with Sean, Mari, Brooke, and Chris last night. Yuuuuuum. I had so much foodfun. ;D)

OMG!

Cory Doctorow linked today to the most hysterical thing. Holy crap, I love this.

The headlining piece, the theme from Ghostbusters, is pure gold.

• Things I ain't afraid of:
  • no ghost
• Strange things in the neighbourhood (partial list):
  • seeing things running through head
  • invisible man sleeping in bed
• Things that make me feel good:
  • bustin'
• Who you gonna call:
  • Ghostbusters
  • I can't hear you
  • Louder

However, I about died when I read the one for We Will Rock You:

• Things which, buddy, you are:
  • a boy
    • make a big noise
  • a young man
  • hard man
  • an old man
  • poor man
    • pleading with your eyes
• Activities you are performing:
  • in the street:
    • playing
    • shouting
  • all over the place:
    • kicking your can
    • waving your banner
• Things which you, being a big disgrace, have got on your face:
  • mud
  • blood
• Things which you will some day do:
  • be a big man
  • take on the world
  • make you some peace
• Places back into which somebody better put you:
  • yours
• Things which we will rock:
  • you

And check this one out:

• Things which I will do for love:
  • Anything
• Things which I will not do for love:
  • That

BWAHAHAHA! :D

Life, lush and fresh and new

I went biking at the Greeneway today. As you might expect, there are pictures.

It was beautiful out. It had just rained, and was about to rain again, but I was lucky enough to catch a window of respite. The rain had made it very humid, but it was cool, so when I got up to speed on my bike it felt like a refreshing breeze.

I started at The River Golf Club, as is usual when I go by myself. I like to be as close to the very end of the trail as I can...and it's also more convenient for me to go to that parking lot than it is to wind back around Georgetown Villas to get to the Activities Center parking lot. This way, I just come up Riverwatch, turn left on 13th Street, go across the bridge to North Augusta, turn right on Buena Vista, and turn right again to get to the lot.

I decided to cruise down along the golf club first, and try to get some pictures of the flowering plants there. As you'll see, I was pretty fortunate. I also got a couple nice shots of the Augusta skyline from that angle.

Once I entered the main section of the Greeneway (I consider the main section to start at the tunnel where the sign is), I tried to keep myself on track. After all, I was there for exercise...the pictures were just a side bonus.

Of course, you know me. When I saw a good shot, I stopped and took it ;>

Still, I didn't take as many pictures as I normally would have before I made it to the opposite end of the trail. Eventually, the Greeneway is going to be expanded into a loop (or so I hear), but for now it ends at a parking lot along some street. I took a break and drank some water (for some reason, humidity makes me thirsty), then headed back down.

On my way back, I started trying to bike using no hands. It didn't take long for me to get acclimated, surprisingly. I rode most of the way back to my car with my arms hanging at my sides, or my hands laced together on top of my head (by this point I was pretty sweaty, and the breeze felt good under my arms). I think it's easier to ride no-handed when you're going downhill, but with practice I was able to keep it up even on the uphill sections.

When I passed the Activities Center, I remembered the big dip towards the end of the trail. How was I going to pull that off no-handed? By this point, I didn't want to use the handlebars. I was enjoying the freedom of not using my hands, raising my arms and pretending I was flying, resting my wrists. So when I got there, I lifted my arms a little for balance, but otherwise didn't go for the handlebars. I had to stop pedaling and coast down the hill, and then I started pedaling at the bottom and made my way back up...all without using my hands.

Then I saw a tree I wanted to take a picture of, and started losing control, so I grabbed the handlebars and squealed to a stop, laughing. I couldn't believe I'd done it.

I rode on, through the tunnel and past my car to the little trail that heads out towards Buena Vista. I just wanted to see what the odd brick enclosure looked like after a rain. I'm not sure what it's used for, but it obviously has something to do with water. Maybe it helps to keep a stream from flooding; I'm not sure. All I know is that it looks neat. Today was no exception; I couldn't really see a difference in the water level, but the plants growing in the bottom of the enclosure were a beautiful, bright green.

After getting my fill of the loveliness of the brick enclosure and surrounding forest, I finally headed back. It was a great ride, and a beautiful day, and I'm thrilled I got to experience it.

Getting a house?

(Blood pressure: 122/84. That's not too bad!)

I took a very hot bath this morning, followed by a cool shower. It was so nice. I feel very refreshed and comfortable, sitting here on my lovely Aeron chair, wrapped in a towel.

While I bathed, I considered what Sean and I discussed last night. Our rent is set to go up in June. He says that if he can't talk them down any, we may as well look at getting a house. (A house!) So while I enjoyed my bath, I thought about how nice it would be to design my own floorplan, to integrate Japanese elements into the house. A major thing I want is a large Japanese-style bathroom. I haven't decided how large I want the tub to be; it's between a regular Japanese tub (roughly half the length of a US tub, and twice the height), and a more onsen/spa-like tub. There are merits to each. I can take baths more frequently in a smaller tub, because it uses less water. But a large tub lends itself to group bathing, which is a great experience. I don't know if I could convince people who come over to take group baths or not, though :> Beyond the tub, the bathroom would have a completely tiled floor with drainage, and two showering stations with mirrors, wooden stools, water buckets, and shower sprayers that had holsters at two different heights, one for standing and one for sitting. Very authentic!

The bathroom is something I definitely want, but there are other things that would be nice as well. For example, I would like to have at least one tatami room, preferably two that are adjacent so that I can slide the screens apart to make one large room. These rooms would have the requisite sliding-door closets, filled with lovely things like futon and a blanket for the kotatsu. (Must have a kotatsu!) I would also want a little hibachi grill to use on the table during the summer, and since everyone would be sitting on the floor I'd have to invest in some zabuton.

I'd also like at least part of the Japanese-style side of the house to be openable to the outside, with sliding rice paper screens.

Of course, I want certain American amenities, too. I foresee the Japanese bath being on the ground floor. Obviously, there would need to be a regular bath there, too, for guests. (The toilet and sink are not traditionally placed in the same room as the bath in a Japanese house, so I would end up with a sink and toilet nook, a Japanese bath, and then on the other end of the house a regular bathroom with everything all in one place, and at least a shower.)

I also want a sleek, modern, convenient American-style kitchen, done in golden wood and stainless steel with black marble countertops, with an island and a flat-top stove and a refrigerator/freezer with an automatic ice cube and water dispenser. This kitchen would have a bar area that overlooked the great room, which would have a very tall ceiling, skylights, and hardwood flooring. This room would essentially be the center of the house, and from it would branch off the Japanese side and the American side. I also envision steps going downstairs to a gaming/computer room/den.

:>

But for all that, I don't really want a big house. Big houses are harder to clean. I want a compact, yet airy design that will allow people to flow smoothly from one spot to the next, but won't be so gargantuan that crisis cleaning couldn't be done in a day. (Is this possible?)

Anyway, there are problems with trying to implement Japanese designs in a house here. For one, resalability. If we ever moved--and knowing me, that's not unlikely--who would buy this house? Would we miraculously be able to keep it as a vacation home? While that's what I would probably prefer, we can't assume that will be the case.

The other little item is cost. It would be prohibitively expensive to do everything I want in a first house, but even incorporating small elements, like the Japanese bath, would be costly. I don't even want to think about how expensive it is to maintain a tatami room. :(

So for now, I think I'm just dreaming :) It would be so nice to have the option of Japanese style elements in an American house...

A couple of interesting articles

1) A discussion of bounty hunters. Pretty damn cool. The article is kind of funny, in that it occasionally veers into extraordinarily familiar speech. For example:

He decided on a career in law enforcement a few years later, because, you know, that's what a lot of ex-military people end up doing.

That was totally out of nowhere. I was, you know, like, "Whoa."

2) A history of the Japanese word processor. That video of the Japanese typewriter on page 1 is amazing. I think I would have killed myself if I had to use that thing on a regular basis. Thank god for input method editors!

This article is actually part 5 of a 6 part discussion called Japanese in the Age of Technology. It's apparently Volume 1, so maybe there is more linguistic goodness to come :D

This is it

(In case you missed it, I underwent something of a moral dilemma in the comments on my Terri Shiavo post. I think it's important to let people know that, even though I have no idea what to think now, and I'm frustrated by my inability to have informed opinions. And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.)

As I'm sure you're all aware, I've been going through a lot emotionally. I have come to a decision; all I'm waiting on is the proper time to act. I was thinking this morning that I don't seem to do anything until it gets so bad I can't stand it anymore. I seem to prefer a horrible situation to leaping into change. This paradoxically conflicts with one of the biggest decisions of my life, my marriage to Sean and consequent move away from my home. It also conflicts with my impulsive nature, my willingness to drop everything to take trips. I think maybe in some ways I'm punishing myself for my impetuousness. Maybe I feel that there is something wrong with enjoying a life in flux, that I should buckle down like everyone else and "pay my dues". In other ways, of course, I am afraid of taking risks out of fear of failure. I've had a business idea for at least a year now. Have I truly acted on it? Other than a few discussions with a couple possible business partners, no, not really. I know as little about my market as I did when I came up with the idea. I've done no research into the materials and labor I'll need. And while one big reason for my inaction is that I feel trapped by the lack of startup capital, it's not like I have been searching for ways to build up capital, either.

I have striven for complacency, putting up with more and more and more in the name of stability. And I'm at the breaking point.

There are specific details about why I am unhappy with my current situation that I would like to write about. I mean, I would really like to write about them. I want to recount certain things that were said to me. I want to express how inattentiveness and lack of organization and a severe misallocation of resources due to illogical priorities have contributed to the decline of what could have been something great. I want to explain to the world why I am ashamed now to have my name associated with this venture, and why I want to divorce myself of it as soon as I possibly can.

However, I don't know how much I can actually say. I don't know what constitutes libel, and what could possibly get me sued. So for now, I would just like to state that this is it. There is no changing my mind now.

Update on WordPress shift status stuff thingy

Thanks to Derik (who truly is a godlike nerd!), I have the biggest problem of my template solved. You can look at my test site here. Unfortunately, the topmost table cell just won't behave. "26 pixels!" I tell it. "Whatever, bitch!" it responds. So I will have to decide how I want to deal with that little issue before I can apply the design to the rest of the pages, and then finally port over all my posts and comments.

It's been a long road...

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

Ewwwwwww!

Terri Schiavo

Here's the latest article on the Terri Shiavo story. For my biographers, who may not be aware (and for those of you in the present day who have been living under a rock), here's an explanation from the New York Times:

State courts accepted Mr. Schiavo's testimony that his wife told him several times she would not want life-prolonging measures. She suffered extensive brain damage after her heart stopped one night in 1990 due to an undiagnosed potassium deficiency. Mr. Schiavo originally sought help for his wife, but after eight years he asked a state judge for permission to remove her feeding tube and let her die. Her parents believe she is responsive and can improve with more therapy.

The Yahoo article was a lot longer when I read it a few minutes ago, but somehow between now and then the meat has all disappeared. Somewhere in there, it said that Governor Jeb Bush had a doctor from the Mayo Clinic who "believed" that Mrs. Schiavo "might" be in a limited consciousness state, instead of fully being a mental vegetable. Then there's this bit of information from ABC News:

Michael, now 41, lives with Jodi Centonze, a 40-year-old resident of the Clearwater, Fla., area. According to reports, she occasionally accompanies Michael when he visits Terri.

Michael and Centonze have two children together, a fact that the Schindlers have cited as proof of Michael's lack of devotion to his wife, a charge that Michael angrily denies.

When asked on CNN's "Larry King Live" why he doesn't simply divorce his wife, Michael said, "This is Terri's wish, this is Terri's choice. And I'm going to follow that wish if it's the last thing I can do for Terri."

I believe what we are seeing here is the inability of Terri Schiavo's parents to deal with the fact that their daughter is lost to them. They believe that as long as she can blink and move, as long as they can keep her breathing, that she is with them. And they read into her movements, claiming that she is responsive even when doctors (every one of them except this Mayo Clinic guy, and it's unclear whether or not he's even personally seen her) state that there is nothing that can be done, that she is a permanent vegetable.

Meanwhile, we have the man she married...a man who knows his wife is lost, and simply wants to put her body at rest along with her soul. I don't think it's surprising that he has found someone else to love him. Men may be strong, but they are also weak. They have a primal need to be taken care of and nurtured. Michael Schiavo couldn't take on this fight for the wishes of his wife without support.

I read an argument recently that Terri Schiavo's condition is a test from God that she should not run from, that she should remain alive for the sake of her parents. I believe this is false. First, it is not her decision anymore. She is incapable of making the decision. She is a vegetable. Her husband states that she made her decision already, and he has told us what that decision was. We can't claim now that she has the right or ability to change her mind. Second, her parents are not benefiting in any way from Terri Schiavo's survival. They are stuck in the past, trapped by their denial, unable to move on with their lives. Rather than heed their daughter's wishes, they've chosen to selfishly keep her body alive, to demean the man she loved and married, to cause our government to exert an unprecedented (and disturbing) amount of influence in the private lives of its citizens. All because they consider their own needs and desires first. They want their daughter alive because they can't stand the idea that she's dead. Nothing else seems to matter to them.

Sean and I both agree that this poor woman should be allowed to die. If either of us were in the same position, we would choose the same thing. Since we're not sure what kind of reaction our parents would have, we've decided that the best thing to do is to write living wills, so this kind of fiasco won't mark the ends of our lives, too.

What a bitch! and other miscellaneous items

So yeah, this woman needs to die.

A woman was charged with stealing money and other items in recent weeks by walking up to six elderly victims, giving them a big hug - and then stealing their wallets or other loose items in the process.

Solar Death Ray!

Here's the story of two college buddies (well, not really; a guy and his former tutor). One's now a teacher with no ethics, and the tutor ended up homeless. Does this seem fair?

The Civic Center wants our SPLOST money! I don't know if I'm for this or against this. I mean, when I originally read about SPLOST, I read that it was supposed to be about new construction, to revitalize more of downtown and the riverfront. Then again, this makes sense:

Members say performers often pass on Augusta because of the condition of the venues.

They hope upgrading the building would boost downtown economy.

I remember the first time I saw the Civic Center. I believe my reaction was something like, "That old shack is still in use?" I guess 60s-70s architecture doesn't age very well. The Bell, however, looks fine, in my opinion.

I would like at least one of these stools. I think they are neat. It would be cute to have two of them, one that said "heather" and one that said "sean" :)

After Cory Doctorow's glowing review, I now wish to read Steven Gould's Jumper and Reflex. (Sequels written from the perspective of the main book's love interest are weird, in my opinion, but it seems to be working for the Thomas Covenant series...)

In other news, Amazon.com's empty shopping cart message is cute:

Your Shopping Cart is empty.

Your Shopping Cart lives to serve. Give it purpose--fill it with books, CDs, videos, DVDs, toys, electronics, and more.

Validate me! the shopping cart cries.

Biking: the mood-maker

Sean's 1 to 10 pm schedule is very inconvenient, dinner-wise. He's called me about five times now asking about what he should pick up on his way home, only to then call back and say that that place is closed. Our final choice? McDonald's. (But this time, I'm getting a salad.)

I stayed at work for the amount of time listed on the schedule that was emailed to me yesterday (that is, until 1 pm). I was pretty productive; throwing myself into my work helps me to get my mind off the things that bother me. After that I stuffed packages and last night's deposit in my backpack and headed out to the post office and bank. On my bike.

Let me tell you, Martinez Boulevard is a bitch. Somehow, it was all uphill, and into the wind. I felt like I was standing still at points. It sucked.

When I finally got to Commercial Boulevard, I was panting like a sumbitch. Fortunately, that road allowed me to coast a little, so I was refreshed by the time I got down to the post boxes and parked my bike to offload all those packages. (The uphill journey back to Martinez Boulevard was not appreciated, though.)

After that I turned right and headed up to Old Evans Road, then left to Washington, and left again onto Washington so I could stop off at Wachovia. I considered getting a smoothie at R. Gabriel's once my banking was complete, but ultimately I decided that I was going to have a brownie when I got home, so I didn't need the extra calories. I headed out Sheriff's Drive to Davis Road, and down Davis to my apartment.

It was warm today. The wind (the evil, evil wind that seemed to want to blow hard directly in my face) didn't particularly make things any cooler. It wasn't hot, but I was fairly sweaty when I finally got home. After I threw my bike helmet into my car, I just stood there for a moment, enjoying how the wind felt when it wasn't blasting me under the full heat of the sun. The trees, fully in blossom, waved and whispered around me, and white petals fell like snow.

After shoving my bike up the stairs, I changed into shorts and a t-shirt and turned up the A/C. (Ahhhh, aircon.) Then, really, all I did was poke around reading websites and comics, and eating brownies, until finally at around 4 I decided to take a nap. I set my alarm for 6 so I could go to bellydance class, but when I woke up to go to the bathroom at 5:30 I felt way too tired to have to get up in a mere half an hour, so I turned off my alarm. I slept soundly until 10, when Sean got off work and called me to see what I wanted to eat.

And that, dear children, was my day. It was, on the whole, fairly good. It started out a little stressful and annoying, but ended up comfortable, and right now I'm feelin' fine.

I guess I feel well enough to go to work today.

Darn.

I'm going to bike there, though. We got a complaint about my bike being in the lobby, so I'll bring it into our office. Robert's out of town so it's not like he'll be charging into the office and tripping over it on his way to the printers or something.

Yesterday I made apple crisp and brownies, and partook of both. I also ate a Hershey bar, half of a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, the remainders of Sean's French Dip sandwich from Friday's from the other day, two Eggos with Country Crock and syrup, a can of Baked Potato with Steak and Cheese Chunky Soup, and a Philly Cheese Lean Pocket.

I just felt hungry. Not in the good way. In the "I'm so empty, I need something to fill myself up" way. I didn't eat so much that I got sick...because I never quite felt full. There was a point at which I knew I wouldn't be able to get anything else down, so I took a break for an hour or two before making the brownies :P

Bleh. I wonder if my hormones make me have these feelings of hunger. If so, it's no wonder I overate so much as a teenager, back when my hormones actually worked correctly and I didn't have to take pills to have my period. :P

Obviously, if the hormones do cause me to want to overeat, I'll have to find some way to resist the temptation. I'd thought I was doing so well with my diet, but obviously I hadn't really been tested yet. Maybe I've entered a crisis.

I'm just above a turning-point weight that I've been wanting to go under for quite some time now. It's really annoying, because sometimes (like yesterday morning) it seems like I'm almost there, and other times (like today) it feels like I'll never get past it.

In related news, my blood pressure was at an all-time high of 141/98 last night.

Texas Brownies

2 c all purpose flour	1/4 c dark cocoa
2 c granulated sugar	1/2 c buttermilk
1/2 c butter (1 stick)	2 eggs
1/2 c shortening	1 tsp baking soda
1 c strong brewed coffee or water	1 tsp vanilla

In large mixing bowl, combine flour and sugar.
In heavy saucepan, combine butter, shortening, coffee or water and cocoa.
Stir and heat to boiling.
Pour boiling mixture over the flour and sugar in the bowl.
Add the buttermilk, eggs, baking soda and vanilla.
Mix well, using wooden spoon or high speed on electric mixer.

Pour into a well-buttered 17-1/2 by 11 inch jelly roll pan.
Bake at 400° for 20 minutes.

Frosting

1/2 c butter (1 stick)	3-1/2 c unsifted confectioner's sugar
2 T dark cocoa	1 tsp vanilla
1/4 c milk

While brownies bake, prepare the frosting. In a saucepan, combine the first three ingredients. Heat to boiling, stirring.
Mix in the powdered sugar and vanilla until frosting is smooth.
Pour warm frosting over brownies as soon as possible.
Cut brownies into 48 bars.

A few notes: I have never made these with coffee, because I don't like coffee. Tonight I made the brownies without buttermilk and the frosting with water instead of milk. Things turned out okay. However, if you start making the frosting right after you put the brownies in the oven, the frosting will change from a glaze into something very close to fudge before the brownies are even ready. This is bad. It doesn't take long to make the frosting, so I would suggest waiting 10 minutes or so before starting on it. The idea is to drizzle the glaze over the brownies and let it harden into a light, crunchy, delicious chocolate shell.

These are my favorite brownies. I hope you enjoy them.

Crazy

Here's an article about the woman who was taken hostage by Brian Nichols, the accused rapist who allegedly killed four people in Atlanta. I guess she's originally from Augusta. the story of her youth here is pretty startling. I guess I hadn't realized that things like that went on in this area.

Weird, and scary. But the article is optimistic:

Her grandfather kicked her out of his house during the worst times, but now he can look back and see it all as a prelude to her encounter with Nichols. "All those experiences with tough mugs, those experiences helped her with this guy here," he said.

I hope she continues to get her act together and is able to once again care for her daughter.

"The Yherajk -- At Least They're Not Insects."

I'm reading a book that I would never have heard of if not for Penny Arcade. The author, John Scalzi, had Mike Krahulik (Gabe) do the cover art for the book. Great art, and so far I'm really enjoying the book. You can check it out for yourself here:

Agent to the Stars

There are only going to be 2000 copies printed of the hardcover edition with Gabe's art on the cover. I'm thinking it would be a worthwhile investment!

Warning: Vague

Inane. Joke. 252.

BWAHAHAHA!

Screw CSS

The only way I've found to use CSS to make the lovely borders I have here on this page is to make background images that are very tall and very wide, and just hope that nobody is going to have a screen resolution that is too big for them.

Screw that. That's short-sighted, flawed design. I'm just going to use tables.

Now, if only there were an answer to my real burning question :P

I took the day off work

I was feeling utterly crappy this morning. I still don't feel all that great. I don't think I'm actually sick. I think it's the combination of this Period from Hell and stress. I'm glad Brooke dragged me out yesterday, because I would have spent that day just like I'm spending this one right now: sitting around in pajamas moping.

As soon as I exhaust my stock of websites to read, I'll get to work on my WordPress template, I suppose.

It's been awhile since my last newsdump

So, here's some news.

First, BoingBoing reports that a guy named Brad Templeton has some cool ideas about WiFi hotspots.

I wondered if we might do much more with a special beacon.

This beacon would deliberately tell you a bit about the access or location. It would contain a mixed XML/HTML packet with a variety of useful fields and general text. These could range from simple descriptions ("This access point belongs to Joe Smith, I'm a programmer") to information ("On this site, Paul Revere stopped on his ride to consult with local minutemen") to street directions ("Turn right to get to highway 101, left for downtown") to, of course, advertising ("We sell fresh fruit and have a special on plums today.")

I'm not particularly wireless yet. I don't cart around my laptop or a Blackberry or anything. But I like the idea of going wireless. I've previously mentioned that I like the thought of geocaching, too. I think it's neat that we could use technology to enhance our experiences in the real world, instead of technology chaining us to desks.

In a bizarre and sad story, a woman has killed herself in order to donate her corneas to her blind sons, but doctors say that corneal transplants might not even work. From Reuters, via Yahoo! News - Oddly Enough.

A Cessna crashed in Nicholasville recently, but I'm interested in the story not because it involves airplanes, but because it involves one of the most inscrutable utterances I've ever seen:

"Look at that plane just crashed in that field, went turned around sit and watched it."

There's another head-scratcher in that article, but at least that one makes sense if you change "lucky" to "luckily". Is this poor transcription on the part of LEX 18, or are people in Nicholasville speaking a new dialect?

There was a big earthquake in Kyushu recently. I don't think it affected my host family, as it seemed to deal the most damage to Fukuoka, which is in a different prefecture. Hopefully they are all okay.

Lastly, students in Japan are getting better at English. (This inspired me to try to write some Japanese in an email to my host sister just now.)

おわり！

v. tired.

I don't know why, but I've always found the use of "v." for "very" to be "v." sophisticated. I think that's why I don't do it myself. My writing tends to be straightforward. I'll put emotion into it, but I won't put on airs.

In any case, my purpose in posting is just to say that Advil is great, and that I would have moped around the apartment all evening if it weren't for Brooke. She called me at around 4 and said, "What are you doing?" When I responded that I was so bored that I was looking through the Box of Bunnies image gallery, she said, "Get your bike and let's go to the Greeneway!"

While at first I laughed that laugh I use where I'm trying to think of how to respond--and in this case I was trying to think of what to say to get out of it--I ultimately realized that biking was just what I needed, especially after eating a freaking Quarter Pounder with Cheese. So I toted the bike downstairs and headed to North Augusta for the third day in a row :)

It was a good ride. I could have gone further, but I'm satisfied with what we did. My legs are pretty damn sore. While we rode my cramps weren't all that noticeable, but they came back in full force once we were done, so when I got home I took two Advil. Ah, respite.

Brooke came over after taking her bike home and changing clothes, and we went to Mikoto for dinner. (Sean's working 1 to 10 pm this week.) I used a $20 gift certificate, so we each ended up spending a very reasonable sum on what turned out to be an exorbitant amount of delicious food. God, I love Mikoto. (So much for those calories earned by the biking...all told, I went 738 calories over today ;P)

Complete Change of Gears: I may have a lead on how to make my template up in php/CSS for WordPress. Stay Tuned.

Also, I uploaded some pictures from Saturday. Enjoy! (Most of them aren't that special, but there are a couple that are nice.)

Ugh, ow, ugh, ow

This is the worst period I've had in years.

Ugh.

I just feel crappy.

Ow.

It hurts.

At least I have this Quarter Pounder with Cheese to console me. :P

Maybe "dumb-ass" would be more appropriate...?

While looking for more information about the I-520 extension, I came across this article. Check out the note at the end:

Who was Bobby Jones?
Being a smart-ass Yankee, I had assumed Bobby Jones was a local hero for chasing away an African-American family that was trying to move into town, or something similar. Actually, Bobby was an excellent amateur US golfer in the 1920's and 1930's. He designed the Augusta National Golf Course, which has hosted the Masters Tournament since the mid 1930's.

Um, wow. I can't even begin to fathom the depths of this guy's ignorance. I guess I'd just like to extend him an invitation to visit sometime and see for himself. (Or he could check out some demographics.)

Wow

The new Episode III trailer is...good.

I mean, it's very good.

After the creeping fear* of the first trailer, I was afraid this movie was going to be nothing more than a Cerebus Syndrome landing squarely in First and Ten. But now I'm not so sure.

It makes me wonder who directed each trailer. They are that different. It's like they're advertising completely different movies.

* Did you get that joke?

"I'm really not making any more, I swear"

I'm a little behind in my news...haven't had the chance to read much lately. So I did some catching up today. Here's something interesting, via Slashdot:

"[The film] is much more dark...more emotional. It's much more of a tragedy," adds Lucas. "My feeling is that it will probably be a PG-13, so it will be the first Star Wars that's a PG-13."

Note that he says "the first", not "the only". :P

I must study at the feet of the PHOTOMASTER!

ASU has the following offerings this year:

Beginning Photography
Bring your 35mm camera that can be set for
manual operation, camera instruction manual,
polarized filter, three rolls of 24 exposure ASA
200 or 400 color print film, and paper and pen.
(4 mtgs) A
SEC 1: TUE, JAN 25-FEB 15 7-9 PM
AR20101
SEC 2: TUE, MAR 1-22 7-9 PM
Allan Mouna Photomaster
AR20102 $89

Intermediate Photography
Learn how to take better photos of landscape,
pets, children and family, as well as photos at
night and in low light. Individual and class
photo assignments will be shared. Bring your 35
mm camera that can be set for manual operation,
ASA 200 or 400 color film, paper and pencil, and
an assortment (about 12) of your photographs.
(4 mtgs) A
TUE, APR 12-MAY 3 7-9 PM
Allan Mouna Photomaster
AR20201 $89

It seems I just missed getting into section 2 of the beginning class. :P But! Here's a class on their online course system that doesn't require me to have anything more than I already own, and I don't have to go to classes ;D (Look at this other online offering...and here are some business courses...)

There are some other interesting classes, like:

Stained Glass
Create your own beautiful stained glass suncatcher
while learning safe techniques to cut and
design glass. The necessary supplies will be purchased
at the first class, and the cost is around
$70 Class size limited to 6; register early.
NOTE: Course materials contain lead.
Expectant and new mothers should not register.
You must be 18. You must attend the first
evening. No high heeled shoes. (4 mtgs) A
SEC 1: TUE, JAN 4-25 6:30-8:30 PM
CR50701
SEC 2: TUE, FEB 1-22 6:30-8:30 PM
CR50702
SEC 3: TUE, MAR 1-22 6:30-8:30 PM
CR50703
SEC 4: TUE, MAY 3-24 6:30-8:30 PM
Robin Schweitzer Augusta Art Glass
CR50704 $69

No high heeled shoes, now!

I've seen the Augusta Art Glass building before, I think.

Investing for Beginners
Take a direct route to intelligent investing by participating
in this course in a no-obligation and norisk
setting. Learn how to start an investment
program by concentrating in stocks, bonds, mutual
funds, and insurance products. Don't miss this
"plain English" explanation of investments.
Bring a pocket calculator. Your textbook is
included in the class fee. (4 mtgs) F
SEC 1:
WED, FEB 2-23 7-8:30 PM
PF10101
SEC 2:
WED, APR 13-MAY 4 7-8:30 PM
James Cook Galloway Hall 204
PF10102 $54

I need this class...

Rental Income Property Seminar
Learn how to create income for now and retirement
by purchasing Rental income properties.
Learn how to maintain and protect your investments.
We will review such topics as: contracts,
credit repair, buying equity, sweat equity, limits on
repairs, tax advantages and what should be your
deciding factors when screening a potential
tenant. (1 mtg) F
WED, FEB 2 6:30-8:30 PM
Regina Preetorious Galloway Hall 203
RE30101 $29

Okay, every time I see "Regina" I think "Phelange"...

Beginning Ballroom
This class introduces you to Night Club Style,
Swing, and Cha Cha Cha. You will learn a minimum
of 10 steps in Night Club Style (slow
dance), 10 steps in Swing, and 6 steps in Cha
Cha Cha. (8 mtgs) F
Please register with a partner.
SEC 1: THU, JAN 13-MAR 3 6-7 PM
RF70601
SEC 2: THU, MAR 10-MAY 12 6-7 PM
(No class on 4/7, 4/14)
Bill Heaton Galloway Hall 101A&B
RF70602 $50/person

That one was pretty cliche. But how about this?

Supernatural Thrillers
Analyze and discuss selected novels/films from
thriller authors like King, Koontz and Harris.
Explore the ancient origins of supernatural
beliefs and their evolution from Persian, Greek,
Roman, and Chinese mythologies into the superstitious
Middle Ages. The course concentrates
on the philosophical and psychological implications
of supernatural beliefs. Students are invited
to select the films and novels to be discussed in
class. (8 mtgs) A
THU, JAN 20-MAR 10 5:30-7:30 PM
Dr. Aman Kay Allgood Hall N354
LI70101 $95

This is the kind of course kids love to take in college.

Brooke mentioned this one to me before. Unfortunately it takes place at the same time as bellydance class (assuming, of course, that I ever decide to attend bellydance class):

Tai Chi
The ancient Chinese exercise of Tai Chi can be
practised by everyone to improve circulation and
balance, reduce stress, and help with weight control.
Learn Yang's Style Standard 24-form set
and Breathing Sequence. Wear loose clothing
and comfortable shoes. (8 mtgs) F
SEC 1: WED, JAN 19-MAR 9 6:30-7:30 PM
RF40101
SEC 2: WED, APR 20-JUN 8 6:30-7:30 PM
Alex Chiu
Christenberry Field House 117
RF40102 $79

I would be interested in this,

Microsoft Excel
Learn to create and use spreadsheets. After this
beginner's course, you will be able to make your
own database of information that is important to
you (CD collections, wine lists, household inventory,
etc.) You'll learn to build formulas quickly with
Function Wizard and use Office Assistant for
online help. (4 mtgs) C
M/W, FEB 28-MAR 9 6:30-8:30 PM
Susan Speir Galloway Hall 215
CO60301 $95 .8 CEUs

but it seems a little too basic. Maybe their online course would be best.

And, of course, no list of classes I'm interested in taking would be complete without these:

Arabic 101
This short, but lively, eight hour introductory
course focuses on learning the Arabic alphabet.
Greetings, simple phrases, language history and
pertinent cultural aspects are emphasized.
Motivated students can progress to Arabic 102.
(4 mtgs) A
Textbook: Alif Baa Take either Sec. 1 or 2.
SEC 1:
THU, JAN 13-FEB 3 7-9 PM
FL50601 $45 .8 CEUs
SEC 2:
THU, FEB 10-MAR 3 7-9 PM
Emad Fransis Allgood Hall E260
FL50602 $45 .8 CEUs

Spanish 101
Emphasis is on oral communication and beginning
word recognition, rather than grammar in
this twelve hour course. No previous knowledge
of Spanish is needed. Each two hour class
allows time for in-class practice. Gain comfort
for most travel and business situations. Your
experienced instructor is a native speaker from
Latin America. (6 mtgs) A
Textbook: Essential Spanish by Berlitz
TUE, JAN 25-MAR 1 7-9 PM
Elizabeth Smith University Hall 353
FL30101 $89

Missed the boat there, though.

Note to self

Kristanne and Kilian, and possibly Jazz and her kids, will be in Kentucky in September, so I must also be there, in addition to the trip I'm taking here in a couple weeks.

I don't know what's best for the world

Recently, Luke posted about a movie called Hotel Rwanda, and I remarked on his post. In the essay, Luke stated:

We are responsible, yet we do nothing. We talk of freedom from oppression, about the unalienable rights of man. We claim to be just, but we do nothing. We intervene, protect, nation-build where our interest is best served, where a prize is to be had. The suffering and squalor of the rest, unluckily born to a nation low in natural resources or strategic military value, is placed on exhibit nightly, to be browsed and digested, mined for all its shock and fear and then to be forgotten, as though merely having heard about such things is its own kind of heroism.

Over on Sushicam, Jeff incited a debate with his post concerning the Alaska oil drilling (the last bit of the entry). In the comments on that post, Kryn stated:

If the US would not hold an agressive role towards some countries/factions and tell them what's wrong and what's right, they wouldn't oppose the US so much and the US would therefore not have the need to wage war on those countries/factions. Please consider who started it, and don't say "they did by not being democratic according to the American way" because it doesn't roll. The US should just stop interfering with countries and enforce them a different policy. The only REAL reason that the US enforces their policy is because their administration is power hungry and comprises mostly countrol freaks. You already confirm this point by regarding China and Russia as potential enemies. They are no threat to the US, they just want to be left alone and deal with their internal affairs themselves, without the US bullying them and interfering. The US simply does not have that right. It is that attitude that will result in WW3. Where did Iraq actually start? Because the US didn't approve of Iran's ways, so they installed Saddam Hussein (yes, the US put Saddam in power and provided him with financial aid and weapons in the first place). Why did the US lost the Vietnam war? because they interfered with someone's internal affairs. He is not the only dictator put in place by the US. The US had no business there. If they want to be communists, let them, they'll find out themselves: How do you most effectively teach a small kid that a bowling kettle is hot? By not stoping it when it wants to touch it. It gets burned and it learned a valuable lesson. Unfortunately the US doesn't seem to learn from its mistakes. STop interfering and the terrorist attacks will stop as well. The same happens with european countries. We get aggressive tones and threats when we interfere with others. when we don't there is no problem. Can you explain? ANother thing, is why does the US always complain about countries having nuclear power and weapons of mass destruction? Why does the US always want to remove those with force? It is hypocritic, because the US is the number one when it comes to the possession of nuclear armaments, biochemical weapons of mass destruction. How can the US tell others off for it when they have the largest capacity in these monstrosities?

Here are two opinions censuring American society for completely different reasons. The first states that wrong is wrong, and we should put at stop to wrong when we see it, regardless of where it occurs. The second states that countries are sovereign, that no one has the right to impose their culture on others.

I feel, oddly, like both of them are right.

This is why I have such a hard time making decisions concerning politics.

I guess the only thing we can do is make choices on a case-to-case basis, and hope we are doing the right thing--that our elected officials are doing the right thing. In the Information Age, the prospect of weighing every single thing that happens between countries is overwhelming, but it's really the only way to be fair. I don't think we can make a hard and fast rule of non-interference or total interference.

Sweet, sweet respite

I was just thinking, "Hmm, 8:30. Maybe I should go ahead and go to bed, since I was so dead this morning."

Then, suddenly, I realized, "I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO WORK IN THE MORNING!!"

God I love weekends.

Not a non-issue

Will Smith is pretty perceptive. From MSN's gossip column (one of my guilty pleasures. Also, it looks like that link will expire as soon as new news comes around. How paleolithic of Microsoft):

Meanwhile, in other Diaz news, Will Smith believes the American public isn't ready to see him lock lips with the "Charlie's Angels" star, whom he apparently eyed for his leading lady in "Hitch" (the part went to Eva Mendes).

"How are you not going to consider Cameron Diaz?" he's quoted as saying in the London Mirror. "But Hollywood is nervous about a black man kissing a white woman on screen. That becomes massive news in the US. Outside America, it's no big deal. But in the US, it's still a racial issue. Ironically, Hollywood is happy to do it if the film is about racism. But they won't simply do it and ignore it."

This reminds me of the Friendly Hostility furor that recently erupted across the webcomics community. (For what it's worth, I thought the newsbox was cute.)

Oh, well. Maybe someday we Americans will get over ourselves.

Wow...Disney's Gargoyles was based on a horror movie!

So I did a search on Amazon.com under "DVD" for "TV", to see if I could find more stuff to waste money on. There is some pretty interesting stuff available, including this.

A Gargoyle leader named Goliath, who has a thing for a human woman? Hmmm...

Maybe someday Blogger will actually publish all these posts I've been writing

At that time, AJ will see this!

Of course, knowing him, he's probably already aware...

Alias rules

Bad Guy (to sister): You should be nicer to your big brother. (to Vaughn) Isn't that what the Bible says?
Vaughn (dressed as a Catholic priest): What, do I look like some kinda expert?

Scary

Fury's Ferry Road is pretty busy. There's construction now to expand it from two to four lanes, but for now everyone is cramped into the two. There's no center lane for turning or anything, so when people have to turn left off the road, it's very inconvenient for everyone behind them.

I try to be sensitive to this, and so I take my left turn as quickly as possible. If I'm on approach and I see an opening, I'll barrel into it rather than wait for another one.

This is probably not the best idea after a rain.

Today, as I swung in, I felt the right rear of the car begin to slide out to the right. This is the point at which you're supposed to correct by steering into the turn. I actually don't remember what I did...I think I just stopped doing anything, held the wheel steady, took my feet off the gas and brake, and just waited to see what would happen. Then, as I hydroplaned into a complete 180 in the parking lot entrance, I was able to brake a little. My right front tire bounced up onto the curb, and I stopped.

The whole time, I kept saying, "Whoa. Whoa. Whoa." Not as if my car was a horse; these were expressions of shock, a la Keanu Reeves.

It was over in something like five seconds. I put it in reverse, backed off the curb, and crawled the rest of the way down Blackburn Drive to our building. When I finally parked, I got out and inspected the tire. It wasn't making any noise, and it looked fine. I kicked it and it seemed stiff. I don't think it was damaged, but it was probably weakened.

This is the same wheel that went up on a curb in Atlanta once...I'd been visiting Charles and was on my way back to I-75 and was in a hurry, so I didn't notice that traffic was stopped in front of me until I was almost on top of it. I braked hard and flung the wheel to the right to keep out of oncoming traffic, and when I went up on the curb then my tire went flat instantly. Obviously, this tire was replaced when I got home. (My car is old, so its spare is an actual tire. So it wasn't too bad for me to drive 400 miles on...)

In any case, the replacement tire is the one that just went up a curb. I hope it lasts, because it would be really wasteful otherwise. My left front tire went flat just the other day and I had to replace it. I don't feel like replacing another tire yet. And when I do, I'd rather it be one of the two back ones, which are older.

As you can see, I'm a pretty pragmatic person. My hands were only shaking a little as I carried my purse and my bowl of oatmeal into the office.

While I cry my eyes out over not having everything perfect in my comfortable lifestyle...

Luke has a good piece up called "Genocide in the Age of Information". It's ostensibly a review of the movie Hotel Rwanda, but given the subject matter of that film, even a review has the potential to be very powerful. Luke doesn't back away from that potential.

Heh, now my problems seem so petty.

I don't know if perspective is what I needed or not, but I do feel a little calmer. And sadder.

Carrots, eggs, and coffee beans

My former coworker sent me this email forward because she knows what I'm going through right now.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.


Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.


In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and place d it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked,

"Tell me, what you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.


The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"


Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity .... boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. however, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter.

I honestly thought this was enough to get the point across, but the email continues:

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

It kind of went overboard, but one part really stuck out to me:

The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

I came in this morning with no idea of how to deal with everything. Everything I've encountered lately has indicated that I need an attitude adjustment. So, how can I make lemonade out of all these lemons? Do I need to quit what I'm doing and start something else, or do I need to remake my approach to it?

I feel like I need to remake my approach to life, and that one essential step in that is quitting what I'm doing now. In fact, I had an odd thought today: that what I would really like to do is go home and help my parents with their business.

They can't afford to pay me, so I'm not sure how that thought will help me. But maybe I can start thinking of ways to "grow" their business? (Ugh, business-speak.) And I need to also start learning things...like accounting, and real estate, and HR, and business management.

And of course, during it all...I need an income.

More to mull on, I guess.

I think it is mind control O_O

Someday, I'll stop obsessing over Kyou Kara Maou, and people who visit here will have something to read that they might actually care about. For now, though, I'm stuck.

It makes me feel like I want to do something important, like I want to have a Great Purpose. I started crying this morning on my way to work because I could only think of one purpose that I know, without a doubt, that I want. You can all guess what that is.

In any case, if the preview for episode 35 is any indication, Yuuri is going to have to fight Konrad. I quasi-predicted this, but it still shocked the hell out of me...now the question is, is Konrad under mind control, or is he being manipulated/blackmailed, or is he pretending? (And the previous question, "How the hell did he get his/an arm back?", still stands. Because that is definitely an arm. So I suppose the other option, that it isn't really Konrad, is still viable. However, it seemed like Morgif recognized Konrad...so...)

More randomness

I'm not even a guy!

Which "Kyou Kara Maou" Bishounen are you? brought to you by Quizilla

Why is Kyou Kara Maou so good? Plus, why I don't like RPGs

I had the following train of thought earlier today:

All the stuff in Kyou Kara Maou that I've been trying to figure out is stuff that usually bores the hell out of me. It's politics in a fantasy setting, with magic, and people riding horses, and dirt (I don't know what it is about fantasy that gives me a "dirty" feel, but I get a grimy feeling from most fantasy, and it's distasteful to me somehow), and medieval warfare, and so on. Why, then, am I so interested in it? Why do I keep obsessing about it?

Because of the characters. The characters are brilliantly portrayed. Their misunderstandings and passions literally shape the face of their world. Adelbert, for example, does what he does because he lost Julia, because he couldn't comprehend seeking peace with the nations that caused her death, because he hated the nobility (Gwendal's cousin, Hube) for ordering the attack that drained Julia dry of life. This is why he defected to the humans he despises, and is willingly trying to bring about the end of the world. Konrad is absolutely devoted to his king, because of the love he was never able to express twenty years ago. His devotion has kept Yuuri alive, and also has given Yuuri free rein when the other advisors and attendants would have stopped him. And Yuuri...well, he's completely different from everyone's expectations of a Maou. He has terrible power and can do terrible things, and we have seen that he isn't incapable of evil, especially when he's passionate. But at its heart his motivations are pure, and his greatest sin is that of rage and revenge. (In this way, he is really far closer to understanding Adelbert than either of the men realizes.)

The characters have made these political machinations, these talks of war, these fantasy events, important and meaningful to me. They shape these events and are shaped by them.

So was that why I became disenchanted with the AMRN? Because of the characters?

At first I thought I had really hit upon something, but then an old argument reared its head. There is something that stands out about Kyou Kara Maou, about most of the anime I enjoy. There is a very powerful and influential main character, who is clearly above everyone else, even though the other characters are also exceptional. The greatness of this character drives the story.

I like stories about characters who are important and special. I want to be important and special.

I am too egotistical to enjoy RPGs.

It's impossible to be the most important person in an RPG, because that's unfair. You can be the most important such-and-such (an idol singer in Macross, for example), but the main story is not always going to be about you. In fact, the story will continue on just fine without you.

I am simply not interested in stories in which the characters are not pivotal.

And it's impossible to make the characters truly pivotal in an RPG, especially one that takes place online, because you never know if someone's internet connection might go out, or if they'll get ill, or if they'll take a sudden vacation, or what. You have to keep things moving for everyone else, despite people's absence.

That is why the stories in RPGs have never been real to me except during those times when I was free to post every day, multiple times a day. I forced myself into the important role of the character(s) who held the plot together. The game became about me, because of my pace and the vividness of my writing.

When I started to realize that this was unfair, I started having less desire to post.

It seems odd that it took so long for me to realize this.

(Random: Anissina and Gwendal! Ice-dancing!)

Things that may have happened to Konrad

So, every time I refresh this page to see if anyone has left a new comment, I end up scrolling past those Kyou Kara Maou pictures. I swear, if I don't get a new episode soon, I am going to go nuts.

So, here are some speculations about what happened to Konrad. (Please, if you actually know what happens, don't tell me. I want to find out by watching the episodes. Assuming I ever get new ones.)

In any case, we know that Konrad is in Big Shimaron from episode 33. He seems to be a bodyguard of Big Shimaron's king, actually. How did this come to pass?

Well, Big Shimaron is Konrad's homeland, but if he went there willingly, he must have had another reason. He's loyal to the Mazoku now. Obviously he expected that Yuuri would have been transported home safely, so he wouldn't be thinking that he needed to escape and get back to New Makoku immediately. Therefore, perhaps he feigned death, then infiltrated the ranks of his attackers...though how he did this with a missing arm is a very good question.

Another possibility is that he allowed himself to be captured. But this begs the question of how he ended up at Big Shimaron. After all, Yuuri recognized the soldiers at Caloria--or at least, their weapons. He became enraged because he believed them to be the same as the people who'd severed Konrad's arm. Assuming Yuuri was right (which is a big assumption; different human countries could have the same weaponry), the soldiers who attacked Yuuri and Konrad would have to have been from Small Shimaron, like that guy Adelbert was hanging out with. (Adelbert has, of course, cut his losses since the Box fiasco, and gone over to Big Shimaron.)

Of course, this assumes that Flurin recognized the soldiers as Small Shimaron soldiers correctly (and also that I understood events correctly). I believe that Flurin thought those soldiers were from Small Shimaron, the country with which she had ties, and so she had to hide what she was trying to do with Big Shimaron from them, and also act like everything was normal. It's possible that this is not the case, but why would soldiers from Big Shimaron appear to try and save her from Big Shimaron rebels? So I think my thought process here makes sense.

(Though...it could have been an elaborate ruse. Adelbert wasn't extraordinarily upset about having to leave Yuuri un-killed. He had other things to do. Perhaps this swift departure was planned...?)

Anyway, assuming the soldiers were from Small Shimaron, and assuming that they were from the same army that attacked Yuuri and Konrad, how would Konrad have gotten away from them and over to Big Shimaron?

Possibility: Big Shimaron soldiers intercepted the Small Shimaron soldiers, who had Konrad as prisoner. They defeated the Small Shimaron soldiers and brought Konrad "home", where he was recognized as the son of their great swordsman, and offered a position as royal guard. Now Konrad would just be biding his time, learning what he can, and thinking about how and when to go to his true home.

Another possibility: Konrad is under some sort of mind control. (I know, I know.) This would be just the thing to do to Yuuri's most loyal follower. I mean, it would destroy him to have Konrad take up arms against him. Konrad, the man who is in love with his very soul.

Which is why I don't think any mind control could last very long...but you never know.

The mind control could be caused by Houjutsu, but it would have to be very powerful, and I'm not sure I've seen any Houseki wielders yet who are that strong. It could also be that Konrad is under the influence of Wincott poison, which would turn his body into a puppet (like what happened to Gunter). However, he said Yuuri's name; I'm not sure puppets are able to do that. (Though maybe Konrad's pure love for Yuuri's soul enables him to break free of the control to an extent?)

At any rate, now that Yuuri is there, Konrad will have to act, whether he's biding his time or under mind control or whatever. It's just a matter of what he decides to do...

But a big question is, is that an arm? Did he get his arm back somehow? How would that have happened? Is it a fake arm, or did someone dredge the real one out of the sea?

His true arm seemed to preserve well. The fingers stayed fleshy and didn't turn black, and the arm didn't appear stiff when it was placed into the Box. Assuming this isn't just because it's gross to show dead body parts falling to pieces in animation, maybe some sort of power preserved his arm so that it could be reattached. Maybe Yuuri's power did something to it, the power of his anguish--though he didn't turn into the Maou when it happened, so that's a slim possibility. Or maybe the soldiers who attacked him (Small or Big Shimaron, or wherever they were from) did something to his arm. But they left it behind in the burned-out wreckage of the church, so that's unlikely. A third possibility is that the Mazoku did something to preserve it when they found it. And then there's a wonky fourth possibility: that Julia did something.

(BTW: what is it about anime badasses being in star-crossed love with women named Julia?)

Assuming that is his arm, that it was preserved somehow and then reattached, how was it reattached? Does Big Shimaron have that ability? This indicates very powerful Houjutsu, which again I really haven't seen yet. But if it isn't his actual arm, what is it?

And finally...it's possible that that isn't Konrad at all. After all, Yuuri saw Konrad in the fire at Caloria. Maybe Konrad is...dead. Maybe this Konrad is some kind of puppet, another person twisted to look and act like Konrad, for the purpose of defeating the Mazoku.

:/

Edit 10:05 am: I apparently couldn't decide how to spell "Shimaron" this morning. Also, I got Caloria's name wrong at one point. Also, I thought of a couple other things.

Yuuri was summoned to the other world by someone else, not the Mazoku. So obviously someone has power, and it's probably a human, since he appeared in a human country. So, whoever summoned Yuuri could also have reattached Konrad's arm/be mind-controlling Konrad. I guess this would be a new character, because I can't think of anyone with that kind of power.

I'm also not sure why the Great Sage (Murata Ken) was able to come to Caloria with Yuuri. Did he sense the summoning and use his own power to come, or was he sucked in because he dove into the pool after Yuuri? (Did he dive in because he sensed the summoning?) Either way, his presence indicates that more power is needed...it already helped, with the Box, but I get the feeling the worst is yet to come.

I am so bored that I am actually pouting.

This is ridiculous.

My brow is all furrowed, and my mouth is bent into a frown, and I feel like I might burst into tears, or throw something, at any minute. I keep stalking around the apartment looking for something to engage me, but finding nothing. I don't feel like watching anything else. I don't feel like reading at all. Making lunches for tomorrow is boring. Heating up leftovers is boring and even unappetizing, even though the leftovers are delicious pizza and Chinese food. I feel like it would be a chore to eat because I would have nothing to do while I was eating. I keep thinking about just going for a drive, but I have nowhere to go, and the actual driving sounds boring. I don't want to drive around aimlessly and waste gas. I thought about going in to work for a couple of hours of data entry, but I really don't want to do that.

I don't know what this is. Am I so used to having a zillion things to do all day, from the past two weeks of 8-10 hour days, that I can't handle some down time? In my free time between working and sleeping, all I've really done is watch anime, and now I'm out of stuff to watch. Is that what the problem is?

Argh! This is so irritating! I want something to do that isn't at my freaking computer! But I'm so much at a loss that my best option seems to be to just go to bed. At 7:25 pm!

BAH!

I am so antsy

I want to go somewhere, or do something. I'm restless. I want to get out of the apartment. Taking the garbage out was nice, but not as fulfilling as I'd hoped. I called Brooke and Mari to see if they wanted to go biking, but neither one was available. Mari's busy planning her cool-ass hafla, and Brooke's spending some quality time with the fam.

I could go by myself, but that seems so boring right now, for some reason. I guess what I really want is to go somewhere with people, and socialize.

When I was out with Mari and her mom for Springtime Made in the South, her mom asked me, "So, have you made any more friends?" I responded, "I have Mari and Brooke!" At the time, I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. I still don't, really, but as you can see, I don't have a huge list of people to call when I feel like going out, do I? :>

WTF?!

O_O I have no more episodes!!!! Chikusho!!!!!

Doesn't that look like a hand? I thought his left arm was the one that is currently residing at the bottom of the sea...

Doushite?! Nande?! KONRAD!!

They're back...damn them

I was calling my friends to ask them if they wanted to go biking today (no dice, unfortunately), and I thought, "I'll go sit out on the deck in this beautiful weather and feel the breeze on my face as I watch the kids playing down near the pond. What a nice environment for a telephone call!"

Then, you know, I actually looked around the deck, and saw that the goddamn bees are back, zipping around railing, careening into the roof of the deck, buzzing towards the door as if daring me to set one foot outside.

Damn them. Damn them to hell!

Kyou Kara Maou

I have been completely absorbed with this series lately. I couldn't stop watching it until I ran out of episodes. I'm still thinking about it.

I believe in Yuuri, the Maou-heika. He is amazing...a wielder of great power who is fighting for peace between humans and his own demon people. He's had to fight prejudice, quest for ancient relics, and make difficult decisions that have ultimately succeeded only because they were backed by his loyal followers and his own great powers. He had to prove himself to his people before they would follow him. But he is a brilliant leader, because he leads with his heart.

And now...Konrad! Konrad's arm! Is he even still alive?

I am completely enraptured. There are only a few episodes left before the end of the season, but I understand a new season will start next month. With the richness of the setting and the brilliance of the storytelling, I know I will go along for the ride. The only worry I have is that I, like Yuuri, am being sucked inexorably into another world...

In other news, Geneon is coming out with DVDs of the series. They've called it "Kyo Kara Maoh", spelled that way I suppose to avoid pronunciation confusion. But their subtitle, which is presented as if it's a translation, is "God (?) Save Our King!" That is kind of cute, but also totally ridiculous. Oh well...what can you really expect? It's not like "From this day forward, I'm the Maou!" is a good title. (Or even accurate...there's no subject in the title, so you could interpret it as saying, "From this day forward, you're the Maou!/he's the Maou!" In fact, "kyou kara Maou" is one of Konrad's lines to Yuuri in the beginning.)

I don't know, though...wouldn't something like, "I'm the Demon King?!" be more appropriate? That at least would get to the heart of the emotion behind the title at the beginning...though it unfortunately wouldn't translate the feeling that Yuuri has moving forward, his decision to be the Maou, to take that responsibility. So maybe "I'm the Demon King!" I don't know.

I do know that "God (?) Save Our King!" is totally stupid, though :>

I hate having "product" in my hair.

It just feels...weird.

But look!

I don't look half bad, do I?

Perhaps I'll take some better pictures, pictures with more foresight than "Oh, I'm sitting in the car, let me take a picture real quick", later.

Do you think I need new glasses?

28 things about me ;P

So I saw this questionnaire on a blog, and thought I'd answer the questions, because I like to waste time...

Had to make up questions 21 and 22, as the original blog omitted them for privacy reasons, but I think I have the general gist of what those questions were.

Here goes...

1. What time did you get up this morning?

10:33! I actually woke up at various intervals starting at around 3 or 4, but I wanted to snooze. I have a hair appointment today...getting it whacked off! So I was nervous about not waking up in time, even though it's not till 3 pm :>

2. Diamonds or pearls?

Both, but not together, unless it's done very tastefully. To be fair, I wear diamonds more often than I do pearls.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

Uh...hmm. When was the last time I went to the movies? Did Calendar Girls come out before or after the LotR trilogy was shown all in a row? ;P

4. What is your favorite TV show?

I don't really have one, now that Friends is over. ;_; I don't watch TV at all, really, because I don't have cable, and the networks come in kinda blurry despite the rabbit ears my in-laws donated to us. I do, however, watch Japanese television...anime, mostly...and my favorite show currently is, well, hmm. I'd have to say it's a four-way tie: Naruto, Prince of Tennis, Yakitate!! Japan, and Bleach.

5. What did you have for breakfast?

I haven't eaten yet, but I will crack into leftovers when I do. Either the gargantuan lunch I ordered from Famous Dave's yesterday (seriously, I had no idea the Rib Tips platter was so huge), or last night's dinner, which was General Tso's Chicken from Sun Kwong. Soooo healthy ;P But I've managed to beat back my recent weight gain, a little, somehow...

6. What is your middle name?

It used to be Ann. (Without an e!) But now it's my maiden name, Aubrey.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

Japanese. Coming up at a close second is "Southern". Sooo good.

8. What foods do you dislike?

Very few! I can't stand olives, for some reason. I also don't like dolmades...they're a bit too astringent for me. Oh, and the texture of uni is nasty. (Gah, I just realized that all these links will be outdated next week, when 2go-Box shifts to its new ordering system...)

9. What are your favorite potato chips?

I really like Baked Lays. You can get them at pretty much any sub sandwich place now. But I'll always have a fondness for plain Ruffles, with sour cream and onion dip. Mmmm.

10. What kind of car do you drive?

1986 Subaru GL 2-door hatchback. Click here for pictures! I gave it a name once, but I can't remember what it is...I remember thinking about naming it Walton, after its previous owner, my grandfather. But that doesn't seem right, somehow. So my car remains nameless.

11. Favorite sandwich?

Meatball sub.

12. Favorite item of clothing?

Hmm, that's tough. I love the new dress I recently bought at Cato, but I'm not sure it's my favorite. Really, when it comes down to it, my favorite piece of clothing is probably my old "Residence Life Staff" t-shirt shirt I got when I was working at the dorms at UK. It's blue with white lettering, and it's the perfect size, and it's comfy. I can't wear it anywhere, really, except for exercising or very casual hanging out, but it's nostalgic and I can still wear it, so there you go. (My Star Wars t-shirts are all getting so beat up that I am embarrassed to wear them except when I'm hanging around the house...)

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?

I would take ten years and travel the entire world, seeing as much as I possibly could. Of course, that's ridiculous, so my answer is (obviously) Japan. If the question had said "anywhere in the universe", I'd pick Mars, or Luna.

14. What color is your bathroom?

That ugly, nondescript beige color that adorns the walls of the entire apartment. We've lived here awhile and I'm getting tired of the colors. But am I tired enough to actually paint them? ...not really. I hate painting, and I would have to repaint whenever we moved out. If I did paint my bathroom, though, I already know what color it would be: a soft purple, to bring out the flower highlights on my shower curtain and my bathroom accessories.

15. Favorite brand of clothing?

Really, I get the best clothes at Cato these days. I did find a nice pair of slacks at JC Penney recently, but when I go into Cato it seems like I always find lots of stuff that looks good on me. (Thanks to Mari for introducing me to the store!)

16. Where would you retire to?

Er...Japan. ;P Or, wherever my family was.

17. Favorite time of day?

Lately, I have really loved the mornings, when I'm driving to work. There's a crispness in the air that promises new things. My wanderlust returns and I just want to keep driving.

18. Where were you born?

At the University of Kentucky Hospital, Lexington, Kentucky. (Very precise! I like to point out how much UK has factored into my life. I was born there, my mother worked there, I was hospitalized there with cancer, and then finally I got two BAs there. UK is home to me in many ways, enough so that I feel strangely comfortable in huge teaching hospitals.)

19. Favorite sport to watch?

I don't watch sports, but I do like watching people play video games, if that counts.

20. Who sent you this quiz?

It's a seeeeeeeeeeecret.

21. Who do you think is least likely to send this quiz back to you with their answers?

Obviously, AJ.

22. What fabric detergent do you use?

Wow, shouldn't that be "laundry detergent"? Or do they call it "fabric detergent" in Britain? Either way, I use Tide liquid with fabric softener (Downy's April Fresh), but I ran out recently, so now I'm using the powder Sean bought one time while I was on vacation in Kentucky and he couldn't figure out how to do the laundry. (The liquid detergent was, like, right there.)

23. Coke or Pepsi?

I tend to avoid caffeine now, but I'll have it every now and then. Coke is very, very rich. It's like drinking a dessert, and I love it. (And Cherry Coke is fantabulous.) Diet Coke is also good, though it's not rich at all. It's light and sparkling. I have never liked Diet Pepsi, but I haven't had it lately, so who knows? Regular Pepsi is okay; it's light like Diet Coke. Caffeine-free Diet Coke is pretty good.

24. Are you a morning person or night owl?

I can be both, but they affect each other. When I'm up in the mornings, I'm up. If I've stayed up too late the previous night, though, I'll tend to hit the snooze button a lot before finally getting out of bed. Likewise, if I get up at my preferred time, 5 am, I get tired earlier in the evening. Seems normal, right?

25. What is your shoe size?

I have answered this question before. Actually, I'm getting the sinking feeling that I've answered many of these questions before. I wonder I have already done this quiz somewhere...

Anyway, my size ranges from 7 to 8-1/2, depending on the shoe. Most of my shoes are 8s, I think.

26. Do you have pets?

Sean. He purrs when I rub his neck, and woofs obediently when I tell him to do stuff. ;>

27. Any exciting news you'd like to share with your family and friends?

There's nothing exciting going on for me personally. Noelle is pregnant; that's big news. She's having a boy. :)

28. When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A mom.

Bah, stupid quizzes.