Paradoxically, autumn for me feels like a beginning. The crispness in the air heralds a change, new and exciting. I wear long sleeves all year--here in Georgia, the omnipresent air conditioning requires it--but when I start to need them outside, it seems like the blood flows more quickly in my veins.
This morning the air was sharp and cool and it made me feel like I ought to be on my way to class.
We spend so much of our early lives going to school, I mused, that when we get into the workforce we have no idea what we're doing.
As I drove to my part-time job I left the window rolled down and the radio off, enjoying the feel of fall. It's been cool a few times before now, but never like today. Today feels like a day to go crunching through leaves in a forest to a cabin with a roaring fire. A day to ride a bicycle and wear a jacket.
Fall always makes me feel that something exciting is about to happen.
The difference now is that I'm the one who has to create the excitement.
When I was younger, fall was exciting because of things that were decided for me--trips, school. Now, I make my own decisions.
And instead of liberating, it feels confining. If I want to go on a trip, if I want to go to school, I have to plan for it and save money for it. I end up not doing a lot of things because it's just not wise, financially.
Strange that at 28, I'm still learning what it feels like to be a grownup.
The chill breeze reminds me, makes me wistful.
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Its strange isn't it? Although I'm a tad bit younger than you (21) Lately things have been feeling the same way. In my case though, its deciding on whether to go back to the University or to go into a trade school, or try and find a good paying job without those. I mean, currently I have no idea what to do. But I got to figure out what before the new semester starts.
Having to make this decision on my own kinda sucks since I have to weigh all the pros and cons and really decide what decision will be best for me. The sucky part about that tho is that if I pick the wrong one and screw up, there's no going back on it. Kinda makes you wish you can have a save point, like in an RPG, that you can go back to if things turn out bad.
But yes, Autumn is a good. i hear it's lovely in Japan, I hope I can see that for myself one day. I've only seen winter there. ^_^
word verification: uuosqx
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