You don't know the power of the Dark Side.

"Thank God nothing happened to the victim," Dearmas told the TV station. "We are very fortunate for that."

"But things could have been much worse," he added, possibly considering the awesome power of the Dark Side.

This article (thanks, Shade) is just full of horrible jokes.

Tipsters are urged to call the Osceola County Sheriff's Office, and maybe Obi-Wan Kenobi as well.

Yeah, what's Obi-Wan going to do about it? Keel over?