Last night was not fun, and I hope it's not an experience I have to repeat anytime soon.
I tried to get to sleep at around 11. Thinking it would help clear my sinuses, I put a cough drop in my mouth. Three hours of fitful sleep later, I awoke feeling like there were gobs of mucus in the back of my throat and with that old familiar hitching in my lungs. Lovely.
I got rid of the cough drop and tried to get back to sleep, but no matter what I did, it was impossible. I got up several times and messed around online, but I was really too tired to enjoy or care too much about what I was doing. Whenever I tried to get back in bed, I couldn't breathe and I couldn't relax.
Finally I tried the decongestant that worked for me the other day. It dried my throat out, which was sort of a relief and sort of made me nauseous, but I still couldn't actually get to sleep.
It was around 5 or 6 when I finally asked Sean to please come sit next to me because I couldn't calm down. He snuggled into bed behind me and wrapped his arms around me and stroked the skin of my back and legs.
And I was able to concentrate on the niceness of that feeling, instead of all the other things that always race through my mind when I go to bed these days. It seems like every night I think about how I wish I was back in the old apartment, or I miss some item we used to own, or I think about how I've "chosen" not to worry about having kids since it's impossible, or I ponder how far away I live from my family, or I wish I could figure out if I want to buy a house here or move away. I think it would be pretty ridiculous at this point to try and claim that stress isn't a factor in how I've been feeling. I'm just not sure what to do about it.
Anyway, I am so thankful that Sean calmed me down enough that I finally slipped off to sleep. I'm not sure how much sleep I actually got, and I feel like crap right now, but I know I'd feel even worse if I hadn't gotten any sleep at all.
Side note: I noticed yesterday that the veins that normally stick out of my feet don't, anymore. It kind of weirded me out.
Side note #2: I think, constantly, "Remember back when I could breathe?" or "Remember back when I didn't feel terrible?" I'm really annoying myself. It's not that clever, Heather.
Side note #3: I'm going to a specialist tomorrow who will hopefully figure something out about my respiration/pulmonary function. I've had friends who've said it sounds like allergies and friends who've said it sounds like sleep apnea. Looking forward to a doctor's opinion.
Side note #4: Why am I so sweaty all the time?
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3 comments:
I remember when I first moved here I thought I must have an ear infection (which I can kind of be prone to if I'm not careful swimming) because I was dizzy all the time...and it turns out it was allergies of some sort. So now I stock up on Claritin D in the springtime here and I usually feel ok. Hope your doc can help figure out your issue, because I know clogged sinuses does suck.
One of the ear, nose and throat people I saw today said it didn't sound like allergies and didn't sound like a nose problem, but instead it sounded like an issue with my lungs. Joy.
At any rate, I'm going to do a sleep study and get back with them. In the meantime I'm supposed to try the salt water spray that my friend Mari actually recommended months ago, and Flonase.
Well, I have allergy issues, but they were pretty evident as that, even before my awsome allergist/pulmonary guy diagnosed them. I used flonase EVERY DAY, and for the time being, that's the ONLY type of allergy med I'm needing! YEY!
Flonase is amazing. Saline is, too (excellent suggestion, Mari!). There's a really good brand, I forget it now, though, it's a really FINE mist, and really easy to use.
I hope all this gets sorted, soon!! :)
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